What’s Up With That?

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New Battlefield Sensor Technology”  —  An unnamed official from an unnamed country reported that another unnamed country led by an unnamed dictator has been using new battlefield sensor technology, pictured above (obtained from an unnamed photographer), to eavesdrop on communications and to collect electronic information—to spy, really—on citizens of countries around the world. It would appear their main interest lies in consumer shopping patterns, online gambling habits, and the brand of coffee they drink.

We are investigating…

Upon further investigation, it would appear the official photographer may have gotten too close to the hibiscus and triggered the shutter accidentally as he tripped on his shoelace, which had come undone while he ran to catch a better shot.

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